Turning Thirty: Part Two

Five days after my 30th birthday, I quit my job.  Convinced I’m crazy?

The “plan” has always been to eventually work from home for myself.  I’ve somehow acquired enough business to keep me more than busy while I’m still putting in 40 hours every week at the machining shop at which I schedule production.  Me quitting was more out of immediate necessity than anything.  Immediately?  We had no one to care for our daughter for the next month.

I remember driving to go pick her up when I got that news.  My mind started racing, panicking, thinking about the times that I work, the times my husband works, asking if I could change my work schedule, the cost of gas to drive her an hour and a half, one way, to my mother’s house, etc.  I began feeling hopeless and then, in my roaring music, dodging deer down a rural dirt road, there was this moment of clarity – I had to quit my job.

I had been waiting to arrive at this magical point where I was making enough freelancing to match what I made at my scheduling job and it seemed to never get closer.  We got busier, the baby requires a great deal of our attention, life kept happening.  It was keeping me buried and unfocused during the day and out of my inbox with clients wanting my help at night.  And I was trying to take on more work all the time.

After talking myself into and out of quitting more times than I can recall, my husband gave me his full support.  I decided to drive down to Saginaw Friday  morning and deliver the news to my boss.

After I left, I felt brand new.  I felt like my life was starting over and I all of the sudden felt the weight of the rest of our daughter’s life fall onto my chest.  I want to be someone she’s going to admire.  Thera Writes is something I built alone.  No website developer, no SEO guru, no one to outsource anything to, no one holding my hand.  I’ve made many mistakes and I hope I continue to make more as I learn and grow.

Maybe we’ve made a huge mistake.  Maybe I won’t be able to handle being a work-from-home mom but I know that only a couple of things in my life have ever felt so right.

Call me cliche but maybe as Cardyn is learning to navigate her world, so am I.  Just…hoping I’m covered in fewer dog hairs and a minimal amount of drool when it’s said and done.

So, hold on for the ride, friends!  And, as always, I’m here for your writing/blogging/editing woes and needs!

Advertisements

8 thoughts on “Turning Thirty: Part Two

  1. Sometimes it’s major milestones, like turning thirty, and sometimes it’s something unexpected, like no childcare, to push us off into the deep end instead of dipping our toes in the water of self-employment we’ve been toying with. I went through this myself, juggling support jobs and the pursuit of a career in the entertainment industry. Once I realized that my bosses were controlling my life, when I could visit my family, and how I spent all of my time, I decided it was enough. Stability can be constricting. I’ll take my money in bits and pieces and the unknown over sacrificing my life for a corporation’s success! If it feels right, you did right!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Pingback: I’ve Been Shit On: Becoming a Mother | Thera Writes

  3. Pingback: What Every Writer Wishes You Knew | Thera Writes

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s