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Let's talk about one of my favorite things: resume templates. If you know me at all, I hate them. They're the bane of my existence and I think they should all be shot right in their templatey faces. So, why the passion? Why the rage? Why the threats? They're absolutely hellacious to edit, customize and … Continue reading Resume Templates: Just…Don’t
If you're reading this now, you either have a jerk baby or you're wondering what the hell kind of mother I am to refer to my child as a jerk. Obviously a terrible one. Well, you've come to the right place. Yesterday, my 25-weeker (or half(ish) year-older, if you're one of those people annoyed with … Continue reading Help! My Baby is Being a Jerk
I never aspired to be a production scheduler at any point in my life. It makes sense to me that I'm not bad at it and that I enjoyed the anxiety-inducing, multitasking nightmare that it is. But from every direction that my life took that I never thought it would, there's something to take away. … Continue reading Life Lessons from Scheduling Production
Loving someone you've never met at first sight is hard. The guilt from that is harder.
Looking for a quick fix for your resume? Check out these fast five tips to help you snag your dream job!
I am so far removed from my food. Where it grew, from which stem it was plucked before I reached for it on the dimpled corrugated cardboard, giving its skin a quick smell, a once-over for bruised flesh, and letting it roll from my fingers into a squeaking bag destined for my metal shopping cart. … Continue reading Pears on Grandpa’s Painting Stool
Here I sit, on the eve of our baby shower, and it dawned on me. Tomorrow, at the shower, our baby's gender will be revealed. Today is the last day of my life that my child is just a human being. Not a baby boy or girl. Just a little person with a galaxy of … Continue reading Good Humans
I'm sitting in the middle of my biology classroom, but not my biology classroom. The green chalkboard stretches from wall to wall and the lighting is dim. Although the class is full, it is silent. Like a muted film. The rows of desks roll like the sea the zenith of which is mine and where … Continue reading Nightmares in Formaldehyde
I'm the oddest thing holding myself up naked in the woods. Cast from an arterial hollow that's never beaten. The leaves dead deaden dead at my bottom step crunch to squeak eek. No echo, a deafening and shallow creak if you should step you should step. Empty levels a rhythmic climb to grayscale stillness. Board … Continue reading Sta(i)r Stutter